I’ve had a variety of writing opportunities since the newspaper business left me, including stories on buying insurance and paying taxes, profiles of baseball players and company CEOs and a first-person piece about being a movie extra. By far the most difficult thing I’ve had to write was my nephew’s obituary.
Robert David Braun Jr. – we called him Bobby – was born on Oct. 16, 1970. I was a junior in high school then, and I learned about his arrival from our school guidance counselor, who also was a neighbor and had received a call from my father. At the lunch table in the school cafeteria, I handed out gum to the friends sitting with me.
I took this picture of Bobby the last time I saw him, in April. Bobby would have been 39 years old this month, but he died Sept. 5 in a motorcycle accident in New Jersey, where he lived his entire life. He was my brother and sister-in-law’s eldest child, my niece’s only brother, my mother’s eldest grandchild. I knew he was loved by many, but not until his funeral did I realize how many. The line stretched out the door of the funeral home for much of the visitation time.
On his birthday, Bobby’s mother, sister and 4-year-old niece took balloons to his grave and sang “Happy Birthday” to him. It about broke my heart to hear this. My mother, who turns 93 soon, had talked about how she had made Bobby a birthday cake every year and now she wouldn’t be doing that. At my sister-in-law’s urging, she baked a cake anyway.
Crying as she was telling me on the phone, Mom said she had trouble decorating the cake – partly because of what arthritis has done to her hands and partly because she didn’t know what the decorations should say.
“I didn’t know what to write,” Mom said, “so I just put ‘Love,’ ”
“That’s perfect, Mom” was my reply.
As Christmas draws near, Hanukkah begins and Kwanzaa is not far away, we all will have opportunities to be around friends, family and even new acquaintances. For those who, like me, are “between jobs,” there probably will be questions about the employment search. Also, people we just met might ask what line of work we’re in.
My advice: Be prepared; don’t be like Piglet.
When my sons were young, they were “Winnie the Pooh” fans, and I recall one episode of the cartoon where a wind-up monkey named Bruno became friends with the denizens of the Hundred-Acre Wood. As they all got acquainted, Bruno asked Piglet, Pooh’s devoted but meek pal, “What do YOU do?”
Piglet, who had seen Bruno’s antics and was clearly uncomfortable at the question, replied, “Well, I … er …. um … uh… nothing.” Of course, Bruno howled with laughter at the answer.
You may not be questioned by a wind-up monkey, but you need to have an answer ready besides “nothing.” Try “I’m exploring multiple job opportunities” (true, but vague enough that there probably won’t be a follow-up question). Or “the possibilities are endless” (probably will prompt a laugh but will effectively end the discussion of the topic). There are a variety of answers you could give that would indicate you’re hopeful and have been working very hard to find a position that matches your skill set, or perhaps you’re trying to upgrade your skills to better fit the job market.
This is where I am, by the way. I’ve sold some freelance pieces, am trying to sell a few more and still looking for something long term. But even if you haven’t had a nibble, try to stay upbeat.
My Christmas note: As a Christian, I believe that this is a season of hope. Our assistant pastor, Steve, carried his baby daughter with him to the altar yesterday as he did the Communion prayer. It was a vivid reminder of the hope that a baby brought to the world.
Over time, regular readers of this blog will discover that my faith is important to me. Part of the reason I didn’t have much trouble deciding to accept a newspaper buyout was my trust that God has something planned for me. Jeremiah 29:11 says:
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for well-being and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”
At Thanksgiving, I urge you to find the blessing in any situation. I’m into the 11th week of my post-newspaper life, and there are many blessings surrounding this life change. The first involved timing. I learned about the impending changes at the newspaper through a voice mail on the last day of our California vacation this summer. If I’d heard that news sooner, it might not have ruined our family vacation, but certainly would have lessened our enjoyment. Other blessings: In concrete terms, I’ve saved a lot of money on gas by eliminating my commute (this saving was really noticeable when gas topped $4 a gallon). I’ve been able to spend more time with my wife and two teenage sons. I’ve also been able to reconnect with old friends and made a few trips while attempting to help a friend’s business venture. On the last trip, I was able to visit family in New Jersey as well. I’ve been able to exercise more, which would help me shed some excess pounds if only the refrigerator weren’t so accessible.
There’s a hymn that goes
Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your many blessings
See what God has done
Try that and it will open your eyes. Happy Thanksgiving!
